You know, how hard is it to actually buy a toaster that does what it's supposed to (like toast bread constantly and evenly) and not break/fail to toast one side/burn everything/just warm the bread? I mean really. I've bought expensive toasters, cheap toasters, middle of the road toasters. I've even bought different brands, too. And yet, not one....not one can perform the SIMPLE task of toasting bread every morning for more than a few months.
It's so frustrating I've even started a twitter trend #alliwantistoast That way, hopefully all those toaster manufacturers will sit up and listen. I bet they have a bloody good toaster on the space shuttle. Why can't I have one like that?
Now you're probably thinking, why don't I just grill my bread? Well, that's not the point. Why should I have to. That's what a toaster is for, isn't it? To toast.
For fans of Red Dwarf, I would gladly take that talkie toaster as my own. At least it could TOAST! Even if it did have an attitude and needed to be placed in stasis for being so annoying.
Anyway....rant over....Oh, and on advice from the eminent and wonderful Serena I bought a cheap toaster the other day...I am now eating cornflakes this morning...
I am Mark Alders, writer, intactivist, post office worker, and all round nice guy...except when someone steals my chocolate! I am a proud Australian, and as such use different spellings and have some weird phrases, too. Hey, perhaps that's why I write some damn weird shit!
I can't change who I am.
So when you read one of my books, enjoy the ride, but please don't say I can't spell. I spell how I damn well feel like it! LOL Naw seriously, I spell like an Aussie...do forgive me because we are a breed unto ourselves. Where else can a place have 11 registered public holidays and no one has any idea what they are for except to have a BBQ and down some beers!
If you do find a genuine error in my work, please let me know so I can speak with my editor...also, as an addition to that, offer chocolates as well. Lots of chocolates.
*hugs*
Mark