I tasted him on an intimate level. My mind clouded with confusion. His kiss was perfect, not too soft, yet commanding enough to know he was in control. He ran his hands over my face, brushing away my hair as he continued to conquer me.

I couldn’t let out a moan. I didn’t want to give our position away. I didn’t want the insectmans to discover us. Not now. Not when I had Zane’s tongue dancing in my mouth.

He continued his kiss and his heat, his sweat, his spice, his sweetness all mingled with my own saliva in my mouth. I was in heaven—no, I was in hell. Fuck. I didn’t know what to think. All I know is my body had suddenly come alive, my nipples ached, my cock hardened and my vision became blurry. A good kiss is always accompanied by not being able to see. And Zane gave one fucking good kiss.

I thought of Callum as he continued to explore me, his tongue chasing mine, going underneath to tickle, then on top to let me know he didn’t want this to end any time soon.

My sweat continued to pour off me, adding to the taste of our passion. I couldn’t describe it any other way. Zane wasn’t teasing, wasn’t testing me in any way, he wasn’t even doing such a thing out of expectation. He kissed me because he damn well wanted to. Plain and simple.

Then it was over.

He let me go and the second he did I missed his touch. My lips tingled from his attention. I stared at him, because there was nothing else to do or say. He checked out the spy hole.

He hugged me once more, tighter this time.  He touched his face onto mine, our stubble rasping, breaking the silence in our priest hole. I shuddered with delight.

“They’re gone…for now,” he whispered into my ear.

I opened and closed my mouth, unable to form the words I wanted to say to convey my disbelief such a thing had happened. All I could manage was an exasperated, “Urrrmmmm.”

He placed his finger onto my lips. “Shhh. I know you’re with Cal, and that’s all good…and…and I respect that more than anythin’, but I had to do that, Jakey. I want more, you understand.”

I was still stunned.

Zane continued, “That wasn’t just a kiss. I meant so much more than that. You mean so much more than that. I gotta show you how much more you mean to me, Jakey. Please. I don’t wanna be untouched anymore. I don’t wanna be unloved. I’m fucking sick and tired of being unwanted. I want…I need you to touch me, Jakey.”

I realised how he felt. He was lonely. Truly lonely. No one other than a corrupt priest ever took notice of him, and that was only when it was convenient for him. Zane wanted affection, and for him, for most of us—no, all of us—affection meant something physical. Being physical, hugging, touching, or just plain old sharing your deepest feelings with someone you loved, no matter the sex, had nothing to do with sexuality. My Grandpa used to tell me stories of his mates in the war, soldier mates who would touch each other to reaffirm that they all cared for one another, right until the end. I never understood what he meant when he sat me on his knee and told me those stories. I did now.

Zane wasn’t gay, not in the sense he only liked men. Then again, perhaps I was wrong. Zane wouldn’t under any other circumstance be interested in being with another man. But now, after he had opened up his heart and revealed how he felt, he wanted the experience to come to a logical conclusion. He wanted finality and affirmation. The only way we, as humans, could do that was to be with someone on an intimate level. He wanted me to be the one who would heal the wounds of his past.

“Answer me one thing,” I whispered.

“Anythin’. I’ll do anythin’ for you, Jakey, you know that.”

“This will be our secret. No one is to know. Whatever we do here right now with each other will stay with us both forever. You are more than my brother, Zane, but I know you’ve been hurt many times in your life. I will do anything to heal you, you know that. You’re not useless or worthless, you’re fantastic. I love you so much, but no regrets, no guilt and above all, no more sorrow. I’m here for you for as long as you need me. But after this, it’s Zane as Zane has always been. Clear?”

He came over me, smiling. “Thanks. I just gotta…do this. To see what it’s like to be with someone I care for so much. I want for Suzz so bad, you know, but Jesus, it’s real…lonely. I need you to…do this for me. I…really…do.” He was crying, his hot tears dripping onto my face. I reached out and hugged him, feeling so close, closer than I had ever felt with anyone. I never wanted this to end.

Unlike before, when the insectmans disguised as Zane wanted me back in those tunnels and I rejected his advances at first, I had no such desire this time. As I embraced him I couldn’t help but think I was in some sort of weird dream, but at least I now understood him. I wanted him, too. I was going to do my damndest to make sure he got all of my love, enough to last him for the rest of his life so he could get on with being the wonderful human being he was.

“I’m ready for you,” I said.