Those of you who know a bit about me know I work in the post office. Today a lovely man, short but with pleasant features approached my counter and asked me if I would certify a true copy for him. Being part of my job, I said, sure, but we charge a fee. He agreed. 

The document he wanted certified was a death certificate. On it was a guy's name, born about thirty years ago and died only a week ago. The copy he gave me to certify from the original had the 'reason for death' blanked out. 

When I asked him why the reason for death was blanked out (it was there on the original) he got a bit short and said, it was none of their business how my husband died. 

Now, here is where my observation and where the title of the post comes into play. As a HUMAN, I completely understood where he was coming from. His husband had passed away and as a result the funeral home wanted a certified copy of the death certificate (I believe for insurance, too) Anyway, observing the original, I noticed his husband died of HIV related issues. I immediately apologized, and then, when his eyes began to mist over and my voice started to become croaky from my emotion, he let it all out. 

He told me how much in love they were, how they shared everything and really, do what NORMAL people do who are in love. I was so touched. I have never heard anyone describe the one they love in such a way (except in romance novels, of course) We chatted for a while and he thanked me for listening. The office wasn't busy at that point in time anyway, so in a situation like that, I like to give my customers my full attention. He obviously needed to speak with someone--anyone, as his family had disowned him. There he was, his man having passed away, and he was now all alone. 

In the end, I had to re-copy the original with the information intact, but not without explaining that it is a legal requirement that I do so and after I spoke with him, he realized that yes, it's none of their business, but also, if gay couples are to be recognized, then they must reveal everything to those who don't understand (whether that be individuals or companies or whatever) remember, being gay isn't about being different, it's about being who you are. I explained to him that dying of HIV issues shouldn't be something to be ashamed of. The life they had together was more important and even though his husband was sick, they continued to love each other in a beautiful and safe way. 

After all that, the man thanked me. I told him many people die of HIV, whether they are gay or not. After all, it's a HUMAN disease. I even mentioned the great Issac Asimov died of issues which was related to a contaminated blood transfusion. 

I think I gave him a new found strength. Well, I hope I did. After all, society needs to let people be people and let love and life and death be a part of the human experience. It should not matter what someone died of or what they were in life. All that should matter is the love they gave! Love is life, after all! 

Anyway, getting all misty eyed recalling this, but I thought I'd share!