Being an author of m/m erotica I have come across a lot of authors who just don't get it when it comes to writing about what men do in the bedroom (either gay or straight or bi). I am talking main stream authors, big name authors, erotica writers, romance writers, speculative writers, etc, etc...you name it, there are glaring mistakes that make me cringe when I read some scenes.

First up, here are some basic rules. I know they seem obvious, but you would be surprised how many JUST DON'T GET IT (of course I will be generalising a little here as there are always exceptions to the rule)

  • A man is not a woman! Yes, that seems obvious, but you know, a lot of books I read feature 'chicks with dicks' as the author plainly hasn't had any contact with the male of the species. Men do not cry at the drop of a hat. Most men do not require long cuddles after sex. Men like sports. Men have a penis that gets erect when they are sexually excited, which could vary from seeing someone naked to cutting a slice of watermelon. The list is endless.   
  • A man is a visual creature. I think that one is self explanatory as it's easy to see when a man is excited ;-)
  • Men's buttocks do not 'wiggle'.
  • A man's penis does not vibrate, pulse, twitch or any other variation that gives the impression he has a vibrator in his pants (you would not believe how many times I read this)
  • Men use different language when it comes to describing their bits. I have never once heard a woman say: "Gee my vagina is so sore because I turkey slapped my best mate way too much the other night." or "I'm just going to jack off my vagina." or "Can I spank your vagina?" See? The language used is spank, slap, jerk etc etc. These are mechanical movements that are not light words. Men do not say: "I am so horny I'm going to touch my dick later."
  • Testicles are not included in the point above. Men do not like them slapped, bitten, treated rough. They are a delicate area. I have read books where authors have had testicles bitten! Holy hell. Bite my testicles and you'll certainly know about it, and not in a nice way either.
  • Men like to get naked. A lot of the time with each other (which has nothing to do with being gay) Young men like to watch porn, sometimes with mates. Just because they jack off in front of each other does not mean this is erotic. Sheesh! *rolls eyes*
  • Yes, the prostate is a sensitive area, but it is a good way away from the anal sphincter. Unless you are endowed better than Gene Simmons in the tongue department there is NO way you can stimulate it with that part of the body. (Yes, I have read that too and threw the book out the window) I laughed so hard imagining the person doing the stimulating with a nine inch tongue! LOL
  • Not all gay sex involves anal sex. A lot of men just don't like that, but still like to be with other men for the very reason, they are men! And if you don't know what a man is, look out your window. They are the one who don't look like women (in most cases, which will bring me to my next point)
  • A lot of gay men, the vast majority in fact, are not effeminate. Get that? A lot of gay men like to be with other men because of the traits that make them men. They have body hair, smell, fart in public, burp a lot and think its fantastic, are crude, like to have sex etc, etc, etc. Again the list is endless.
That is all I shall write at the moment. There are plenty more examples and some are just too stupid to mention. But I think you all get the idea.