Everyone knows what spanking is. The short definition is: “An act which strikes the buttocks of another to cause temporary pain without producing physical injury” But spanking is a whole lot more than that. A whole lot more.

Let me explain.

I’m sure most have experienced some sort of spanking in their life, but the difference between spanking a partner for sexual pleasure or kinks is a lot different than being put over your parent’s knee for stealing cookies out of the cookies jar. What I am, of course, talking about in this post, is the art of spanking for pleasure.

So, do you just drop your partner’s pants and spank away like a man-man? Of course not! There is an art to spanking (after all the buttocks is a prime erogenous zone. But unlike other zones like the nipples and the back of the neck, sexual arousal in the nerves in the buttocks are buried in a layer of fat and require harder stimulation—like spanking—to trigger them).

Spanking should always be combined with other activities, soothing, rubbing, kissing, petting, masturbation, etc, etc. In fact, mix it up, otherwise the whole goal, sexual arousal, may fall a bit flat if you’re just spanking away like someone possessed or without care. Also, a properly done spanking, such as over the knee or with a cushion to prop up his buttocks, causes his buttocks to squirm from the sting, simultaneously resulting in him rubbing his cock on your knee or cushion or whatever.

Here are a few tips on how to make spanking enjoyable for both of you so spanking can become a part of both of your sexual repertoires.

1- Give him a specific "Punishment" time and make him wait for it:

The anticipation will add to his sexual arousal and make him squirm with anticipation. You can accentuate this by making him wear a cock ring, a ball harness, or whatever takes your fancy. You can also get him to play with himself at regular intervals while waiting for his spanking. Of course, you will want to ensure that he obeys your instructions, and that he knows his spanking will be harder if he disobeys.

2- Order him to "Prepare Himself" for his spanking:

This could mean taking a bath to make himself clean and beautiful, or dressing in a particular way (for example, a schoolboy outfit, a scout uniform, a suit, or his work uniform depending on how deep you want the fantasy to go or are prepared to make it). Tell him that the length of his spanking will depend on how handsome you find him at the appointed time. These acts of preparing himself will have a direct effect on his state of arousal, as it will make him think about it constantly. In other words, he’ll have a boner like you wouldn’t believe!

3- Take your time to inspect his appearance when he presents himself for his spanking:

Comment on every aspect that might add to his punishment or subtract from it, and let your eyes and hands inspect every inch of his body. The intense scrutiny you are giving him will intensify his excitement. If he hasn’t done the things you have asked of him properly (clean shaven, clothes ironed, shoes shined), then more punishment should be administered and he should be well aware of this, too!  

4- Before beginning the spanking, make him perform a ritual:

This could be kneeling in front of you and begging forgiveness for the imaginary transgression. Always agree that he will be forgiven after his "punishment," as you don't want to humiliate him (that’s not the aim of the game here). You should act as if you are only spanking him "for his own good," and you might even tell him about how you intend to ravish/fuck/suck/kiss him if he is a "good boy" during his spanking. After all, with punishment should come reward J

5- When he is across your knees, take your time before starting:

Play with his buttocks, squeezing and "testing" its firmness and fullness—and you can feel between his legs to see if he is hard. Tell him what you are going to do to his buttocks, and how it will look in a few minutes. If you feel him trembling/breathing harder/moaning when he answers you or if his voice is hoarse or higher in pitch, you know he is really ready!

6- Ease into the heavier spanking

When you actually start the spanking, you may start by spanking him over his clothing, then over his underwear (if you have him wearing them). Once you have warmed his buttocks, you will always want to spank him on his bare backside, as that is the sexiest kind of spanking.

Alternate a dozen or so spanks with rubs of his buttocks, using firm but very sexual stroking to spread the warmth all over his rump. A finger between his anus can be used to get him breathing faster. You can also alternate spanks with gentle rubbing of his cock, gentle tugging of his balls or caressing of his anus. This will make him associate spanking with other pleasurable sensations, thus conditioning him to get aroused to spanking. Take your time, savouring every smack and every feel of that delectable behind.

7. Use the right technique:

The slightly cupped palm with fingers together is the best way to spank, as it makes a good smacking sound and reddens the skin without causing excessive pain. If he seems to be unmoved by such spanks, you can give him a few with a flat palm and spread (relaxed) fingers—those are the stingiest—until he squirms or responds.

A slow tempo, with an irregular rhythm, is the best technique, as the moments of anticipation between each stroke add to the tension; and if he cannot tell when the next stroke might fall, it is doubly effective in increasing his arousal. Again, take your time. Remember, it is not the number of spanks or how hard they strike that is important. It is how long and how deeply he feels his submissive helplessness and the total sexual stimulation of his buttocks that is the key.

Spank him right:

A really good spanker can sometimes bring his partner to climax from such a sexy over-the-knee spanking. But every lover who knows his partner's symptoms of arousal can judge when the time is right to shift him from the spanking position to any other (such as being fucked or sucking you). Also, as a final word, just in case it’s needed, a safe word should always be agreed upon. And for the love of God, don’t make that word, no or stop, because those sorts of words add to the sexual excitement of the role play/situation you have created! A word which would never normally be heard in the bedroom is a good clue.

Above all, enjoy spanking your man.